I have always felt that the problem with the message of the legend of Damocles is that really we all live our lives under the threat of violence, misfortune, and tragedy. It is not only those who are well off or in positions of authority. It is absurd to think that at any time during or after the period of this legend there has been a higher mortality rate/lower life expectancy among rulers than the average person in the area.
So instead of complaining or devising clever ways to make his courtiers look stupid, you'd think Dionysius, would just enjoy the things he had while he waited to be assassinated. Though maybe terrorizing his court was the way he did this, in which case, good for him, I suppose.
As I sit in my own palace this week, with the sharpened point of rejection hanging directly above my heart, I should apply the lesson of my own critique and not feel sorry for myself but recognize that really all my fellow beings are in something like the same scenario, and the way to expunge my dread is to course with them, shoulder to shoulder, on life's road.
But that is not what I am going to do. I am going to spend a lot of time in silent thought, remembering the times this has happened before. The feelings of those events will return to me, and I will chew on nothing as the bitter taste refills my mouth. I will draw sharp, rapid breaths as the crushing feeling returns to my chest. Pavlovian responses to the ringing bell of "I think we need to talk..."
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
What was to be a b'ar in them thar hills
I went back to the office late last Wednesday night, mostly because I had a call with a colleague in Italy, but I had let myself get pretty far behind on some other projects as well, and I didn't end up leaving until about 2 am on Thursday. As I was about halfway home, something darted out of the tree line on my right about 100 to 150 yards up the road. In no time, it was halfway across the road then disappeared into the bushes on the other side before I could get level with it to stop and get a closer look. But the image burned in my mind is the large black bear halfway through the road illuminated by my headlights.
It was one of the most awesome experiences in my life. The combination of the shock of the unexpected and the surprising speed it displayed contributed to the initial excitement, but the significance of it has been growing for me.
The bear ran across the street about here. If you zoom out a bit, you notice that where it was running to (the north) is full of trees and largely uninhabited, but to the south is practically a subdivision. It is not clear to me what the bear was doing there, but I suspect either he was comparing house prices and wishing he had bought a few months ago when interest rates were lower or HE WAS DOING WHATEVER HE WANTED BECAUSE HE IS A BEAR!
This bear has become a hero of mine. Life is not what it should have been for him. Not long ago his family was roaming these woods and mountains at their leisure; kings of all they surveyed. The only time they had to run in those days was when they wanted to catch up with some fast food. Now, if he wants to pursue game a little further south than usual he has to book it for all he is worth across a hard smelly surface just to avoid some nerd in a Prius.
But the bear does not let these inconveniences, indignities, or dangers impede his life. He charges through them with power and grace, and I wish him the best of luck. I am back in my office at too early of an hour trying to get a head start on monthly reporting, but mostly I think I wanted another shot at seeing my friend sprinting through his town.
I would like him to come visit me closer to home so I can observe him again (hopefully through the safety of my windows) but there is a family of deer that lives near my house and spends a lot of their time in the Fall in my yard or on my street. I enjoy it when I have to stop my car until they decide that they are ready to move out of my way. It is inspiring to watch them up close and feel a little connected with nature, but now I worry about them meeting my bear.
If they could put aside their differences, I think they would have a lot to learn from each other about living amongst the humans, and I for one would love to see more of him ambling about the neighborhood, eating our berries, and digging up roots. But the deer, cats, dogs, and toddlers in the area might look more appetizing.
So, I am torn. I want to see more of him, but I'm not sure there is a setting where we would both be comfortable and our activities would be mutually beneficial. So, maybe I should just be grateful that I had that moment where I was privileged to observe him at the peak of his physical prowess and should stop looking for reasons to come into the office at 2 am.
It was one of the most awesome experiences in my life. The combination of the shock of the unexpected and the surprising speed it displayed contributed to the initial excitement, but the significance of it has been growing for me.
The bear ran across the street about here. If you zoom out a bit, you notice that where it was running to (the north) is full of trees and largely uninhabited, but to the south is practically a subdivision. It is not clear to me what the bear was doing there, but I suspect either he was comparing house prices and wishing he had bought a few months ago when interest rates were lower or HE WAS DOING WHATEVER HE WANTED BECAUSE HE IS A BEAR!
This bear has become a hero of mine. Life is not what it should have been for him. Not long ago his family was roaming these woods and mountains at their leisure; kings of all they surveyed. The only time they had to run in those days was when they wanted to catch up with some fast food. Now, if he wants to pursue game a little further south than usual he has to book it for all he is worth across a hard smelly surface just to avoid some nerd in a Prius.
But the bear does not let these inconveniences, indignities, or dangers impede his life. He charges through them with power and grace, and I wish him the best of luck. I am back in my office at too early of an hour trying to get a head start on monthly reporting, but mostly I think I wanted another shot at seeing my friend sprinting through his town.
I would like him to come visit me closer to home so I can observe him again (hopefully through the safety of my windows) but there is a family of deer that lives near my house and spends a lot of their time in the Fall in my yard or on my street. I enjoy it when I have to stop my car until they decide that they are ready to move out of my way. It is inspiring to watch them up close and feel a little connected with nature, but now I worry about them meeting my bear.
If they could put aside their differences, I think they would have a lot to learn from each other about living amongst the humans, and I for one would love to see more of him ambling about the neighborhood, eating our berries, and digging up roots. But the deer, cats, dogs, and toddlers in the area might look more appetizing.
So, I am torn. I want to see more of him, but I'm not sure there is a setting where we would both be comfortable and our activities would be mutually beneficial. So, maybe I should just be grateful that I had that moment where I was privileged to observe him at the peak of his physical prowess and should stop looking for reasons to come into the office at 2 am.
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