What was to be amusing

It is always with some measure of reluctance that I stray very far from my home.  I have invested in a mattress, towels, furniture and other amenities so that few places are more comfortable for me.  My house is also on a very steep hill the better to fend off barbarians, vandals, and other visitors. 

When I do venture into other parts of the world I always take to heart the words of Aurelius Abrosius, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."  So when I'm in Memphis I go to various barbecue establishments, when I'm in Texas I effect a drawl, and when I'm in Chicago I make it a point to get shot.  To do otherwise would show a lack of recognition and respect for local customs and traditions.  So as I find myself in Florida's Orlando this week, I venture into some of their world-famous themed parks.

This is the right time of year, it seems, for this sort of excursion, as the crowds are small and the traffic is virtually non-existent.  But my body, it seems, does not appreciate the quick succession of jarring and disorienting rides.  It has become accustomed to slow life in the country, the steady monotony of the treadmill, and the easy acceleration of the hybrid.  It does not appreciate being made to spin around and having its ocular senses assaulted with a stroboscopic lights.  It seems fine with the occasional roller coaster, but would prefer to avoid the more exotic feats of engineering.

This physical unease that I then feel as I sit outside the ride and wait to regain  my composure is compounded by the metaphysical unease that comes from feeling that I am innately unqualified for this sort of entertainment and the worry that there may be other activities for which I am preemptively disqualified as well.  Is a low motion-caused nausea threshold correlated with other attributes the opposite sex finds unappealing?  Is my low tolerance for spinning why I don't enjoy dancing or granting clubs my patronage?

As I sit there; my head swimming with these thoughts and my stomach churning with my breakfast, I look around and think, "Well, I suppose someone has to stay out with the stroller and the bags."