What was to be argued

I think I was 12 or 13 before I ever heard my father complain to someone other than us or about anything other than how we children didn't do our chores or obey our mother well enough the first time.  Which is not to say that he complained about those things often, I just never heard him complain at all except in those instances.  I also can't remember him ever getting in an argument with anyone outside of our family. 

So it is not that I never gained experience being combative or argumentative if the need arose, indeed, within the family we could stage a row that would make the British Parliament seem as serene as sleeping monks.  But I never observed my parents fight or argue with people outside the family, so my mind seemed to understand this as a thing that simply didn't occur. 

Thus, when I started to meet argumentative people in my later years of high school and early years in college, I wasn't really sure how to deal with them.  My first thoughts were along the lines that I should take them aside and explain to them that I was not a member of their family so they were just embarrassing themselves by trying to start an argument with me.  The absurdity of these people, being rude to somebody besides your siblings who are required by all known laws to love you.  What made them think they would ever get away with it?

Of course I had seen people on TV and in movies arguing with others not of their kin, but I had also seen aliens and magic and elves in those mediums, and the former seemed just as contrived as the latter.  And even today when I am approached at work either in person or through email or phone, by someone with an impatient or combative attitude, my first response is one of marked disbelief and confusion.  I maintain this noticeably confused and unhelpful state and invariably they realize they need to readjust their tact or gain nothing from the interchange. 

This was a long walk around the park to get to my main point, that I have a great deal of trouble dealing with contractors who have come to work on my home and property.  I have had only one experience with a contractor who did everything as he said he would and there were no mistakes on his part or dissatisfaction on mine.  The rest have all made some mistake or another and when confronted about it they have adopted my own strategy against me of acting confused and martyred, until I give it all up.  So, with this particular subset of the population I have taken a new approach: shock and awe.  With these creatures I now come down on them with the fury of gods' own thunder and this seems to be the best way to drive results. 

I came across this method on accident when I was at work one day and received a call from a contractor who began to speak about a problem he had encountered while working on a job he and I had not previously discussed, but he had started anyway with the thinking that we had, and I had approved.  The price of this was $5K, and I my usually calm voice began to betray my frustration, when he continued to calmly claim that this is something I had approved and he already had his crew doing the job and could not stop I reached my breaking point and unleashed upon him the most abrasive string of words I had every audibly formed in my entire life.

All was quiet on both ends of the line for several moments until he said sheepishly, "I'll call my manager."  I beat him to it, and this time opened with my rage and the matter was quickly settled on the terms I outlined. 

I am not at all proud of this methodology (though I now understand why so many come to me using this from the outset) and have never resorted to that most nasty kind of phrasing I used on that first day, but for some reason in these relationships it seems to be the way to get things done.

 I understand if you don't agree with me on my thoughts and actions as described above, and I'm happy to discuss the subject with you, but I don't understand why you are taking that tone with me on the outset.